If Ick was a factor in your breakup, as it is in many, the No Contact period helps remove the taint. He left me very suddenly and said he needed space to be on his own and sort his head out because I was smothering him and accused me of being “obsessed” with him rather than loving him. The problem is that rehab doesn’t always go too well…. I am not one for small talks either and talked what we doing since he asked and that was it. Take some time for yourself to get over the break up and then decide what you want to do, I’d be happy to advise you when you have made your mind up, My ex broke up with me 2 days ago, after spending 1.5 years together happily. I’ve been so heart broken to the point I haven’t eaten, I feel sick, I have cried so much that I don’t think I could cry any more, I’ve barely slept and when I wake up I find myself going on WhatsApp at 2am to re read messages, and my heart feels actually broken. she’s different, too . He was dismissive and avoided conversations about the future. And this went on till Tuesday night.He then stopped contacting me. This was not known to me until he said it. If you want to retain even the slightest possibility of maintaining a positive relationship with your Ex, and potentially getting him back, then you should be nice in your interactions with him. The last two days have been devastating for me, That’s why we resonate with shows like breaking bad. In the mean time you need to follow this program so that you do not fall into a friends zone or friends with benefits. But last week he said he was starting to feel the pressure of selling his home and finding somewhere to live, he doesn’t like his job too much either and we discussed how he felt a bit trapped by it all (he lives with his dad while he’s sorting out finances) – he’s a great dad that sees his kids 4/5 days a week but the teenage girls hated that their dad was seeing someone so that was started to affect him (I’ve never met them for fear of upsetting them) then a few days ago he messaged to say he couldn’t do this anymore and he was going to have to ‘run’ from our relationship, we then spoke on the phone and he was crying as was I, he said he needed time to be alone to ‘sort out his situation’ and sell the house make sure his kids were happy etc, that he loves me so much and he doesn’t want to lose me but he is letting me go for now. He said ok but it did not happen. Hey KV you should be in No contact now where you do not reach out or reply to your ex if they reach out to you. Do those squats and crunches in the morning and while you watch tv at night. How you should react when bumping into your ex depends in particular on 1 thing – whether or not you are currently running the no contact phase. Immediately implement the No Contact Rule. Perhaps he misses my friendship? So I got my friend up-to-speed about the situation at hand after brunch. The night before he actually left he lay down with me on the couch and was more affectionate than ever. It can help you judge your own life. I tried to make things right at the moment but he just said he was done and needed space and to be left alone. That’s about as friendly as you need to be during No Contact. But, there is one, over-arching dictate which applies universally to these scenarios, and it is: So you got dumped. But he sent this message and I really think he needs not to see me to hurt and realise he is losing me. Smile. It’s a fantastic anthem for those of us who triumph, and ensure this breakup is making you better, not breaking you. I had not had a sexual relationship in years. I done the worst thing a women could do and I put him on a pedal stall and in return I got dumped. Whether you were dumped or you did the dumping, breakups are not easy. If your Ex dumped you by text, or didn’t even give you a reason, perhaps he had the Ick. He said he would come by and grab his belongings after his work. I kept fighting for my live and asked the reason he did that. And if he does not leave the woman he is engaged to then walk away. Will he ever reach out again? Now, ask yourself, what is the WORST thing this man could do, at any stage of the Ick? I have been with him for 6 years and we have a baby together who is 2 years old. On Sunday, Redditors on the Ask Women board shared their most satisfying post-split run-ins with their exes. Especially if you’re running into them with your car, which hopefully you are not, but hey, things happen. I do want him back but he has all ther control. My question is, how do I go about be handling another interaction better and less awkward with him since we’re more than likely to see each other again. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. If your long-term goal is to get your Ex back, then you definitely don’t want to be “friend-zoned.” He’s too depressed or lazy or immature to be in a relationship, He wants to date around but still keep you as an option while still keeping his bachelor staus. Don’t bother asking for any of your stuff back unless you absolutely can’t live without it. However – no matter why a particular breakup occurred, if you are forced to have contact with your ex in a way that you cannot control (due to work or social settings), the risk for Ick to develop after the breakup still exists! Since most people have and will give you mature and emotionally stable responses for this question….I think it's my duty to stray from the status quo and give you a ligh- hearted option. You can go get it after No Contact period is over. He did tell me in the beginning and we agreed we wanted a long-term exclusive relationship. This shows him he’s not that special, and makes him want to work harder to be a priority in your life. Could he simply want to be friends? This is your time to shine! Nevertheless, you are less interested, and once you have the Ick, it taints things. To prevent that heart-racing, sweaty palms feeling from happening, visualize ahead of time what a successful run-in with your ex would look like," marriage therapist Kristina Fecik said. Be friendly and say hello, but then excuse yourself and carry on. There’s this fascinating psychological concept that usually when our needs get met, we need to find a different problem to solve. This is even more important for an ex-girlfriend. Or sit next to you. He called that pattern his story circle and it goes something like this. Makes me work a little bit harder I was shocked and asked to talk to her , she mentioned that they have been together for 15 months. In this situation, what I wanted was some alone time. I spent the first 2 weeks trying to get him back (messaging him saying we can sort this out and get through this together etc – worst thing to do and I know that now!). "Get control of your nerves! By the end of this article I’m going to tell you exactly what you should aim for when you run into an ex and then we’ll dive into a brand new concept that will help you to achieve that goal! Be natural, have a good story to tell, and practice telling it in the way of the story circle. And that was the last time he contacted me. Add Opinion. Unexpectedly running into an ex can be stressful, and you might draw a blank and not know what to say. But we make time for each other and it’s all been so effortless, we’ve been on holidays the two of us and we connect on every level. For practice im going to tell you a very personal story using Dan Harmon’s story circle. So, as I mentioned before, the first order of business is to ensure that you look great and feel great. If you are in No Contact, speak to him briefly and nicely, smile, then move along. But, you begin to enjoy his company less, for some reason or another. Instead, simply smile politely to show you're an adult and move on with your day. ... you never know who you’ll run into. He told me he use to have lunch with his mother on Saturdays until we started going out and then our relationship developed into a pattern of Saturday nights and therefore he couldn’t see his mother, especially if he had to work that Saturday. This is a major problem because if you try to force an interaction with your ex in the middle of a no contact rule, the results aren’t going to be great. You feel the initial Ick but can’t quite put your finger on why. Hi Arya, so no you have not ruined your chances sticking with your No Contact even though he reached out to you is a good thing and make sure you keep going until your 30 days are up. Running into an ex might make you want to hide, and that's all thanks to your body's stress response system. By Chris Seiter. But remember, you only have ten minutes to make that happen, and you have to make sure it still sounds natural. So… until you see action to follow up the profession, don’t get too excited. It may even reignite those familiar feelings of love, lust, or just plain loneliness. Resist the urge to yell something obscene or throw your eggnog at the person if you're still in the anger stage. Its called Limited No Contact, you will find article about it on this website. She lives in another province. 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